Pontecarlo or Bust

Ray Charles - I Can't Stop Lovin You

2012-01-31T00:43:00.000Z

Not sleeping again

2012-01-10T23:19:00.000Z

Star Wars Rules

2011-11-23T12:43:00.002Z

I believe this....

2011-11-21T20:11:00.001Z

via here

I love what I do - just not where I do it right now. So I am not going to settle I am going to look but not jump - walk with consideration and confidence.

I love what I do, so I'm adopting this:

We're none of us perfect

2011-11-20T19:25:00.002Z

You & Tequila - a little bit of country

2011-11-11T22:50:00.000Z

Kenny Chesney featuring Grace Potter - You and Tequila

Do you think this will work for me?

2011-11-11T22:18:00.000Z

Wonderful Wallpaper

2011-11-09T21:03:00.000Z

I wish I didn't rent as I would love any of these on my walls:

from here John Lewis

Flutterbyes

Roses

Window Shopping

2011-10-30T14:04:00.000Z

There are a number of websites I like to browse to waste a little time - its a kind of window shopping; I very occasionally buy but mostly I just dream and ooh and ahh.

My current faces are www.williams-sanoma.com where I am coverting this Personal Embosser - I don't need it but I like like like it:

Sister company to Pottery Barn, I have been known to spend time browsing there too.

However, after seeing Liberty London Girls tweet that Crate and Barrel were now shipping to the UK I have spent a disproportionate amount of time here.

Particular fave are:

herb scissors

And this:

Troy Twin Sleeper

But then I'd need this too:

ottoman - storage

hmmmm wonder how much the international shipping would be........

erm no reason just because

2011-10-29T23:50:00.000+01:00

Yes I am

2011-10-24T22:48:00.002+01:00

Home is.....

2011-10-02T18:52:00.002+01:00

I need to make some decisions. I love my little house but I have never really made it my home. I've been here 11 months and haven't really moved forward. I'm still paying for two houses and still have half my life in Yorkshire at my old house.

I have choices, and have options - people I love and who love me have asked me to move in - but it feels scary. Here I am comfortable, I am close to work, in my home town and have my space; I rarely feel lonely and enjoy being here.

But I could save significant amounts of money moving out - and that would make life a lot easier.....a lot easier.

I need to see what happens in the next few weeks and months but I need to make some decisions.

Getting something I wanted

2011-09-23T23:21:00.000+01:00

Earlier this year I blogged about things I wanted and well I didnt get the exact shoes I got some similar what I did get last week was a tattoo. The pics aren't great and I will paste better ones but for now here she is:

Singapore Orchids

2011-09-23T22:45:00.000+01:00

When I went to Singapore for CP & JP's wedding I spent a few hours in the botanical gardens the next day (which is where they got married) - the orchid garden was worth the ticket and was beautiful:

The Happy Couple the day after:

Me and the beautiful bride (CP) on her wedding day

Homesick

2011-09-21T18:46:00.002+01:00

Flying Away

2011-08-29T20:27:00.000+01:00

Next weekend I head away for the month, I'm both excited and scared by this. I'm traveling with/for work and will be in Boston, Sao Paulo & Philadelphia. In between I will visit Provincetown, have my tattoo in West Chester and hopefully get to either New York or Washington.

My concern at the moment is packing - I need to pack for a month. For work and play, casual, smart, dressy, relaxed; the whole kit and kaboodle.

But of course, in my usual trying to fit it all in I have booked myself to do far too much between now and my leaving. Something's going to have to give......unfortunately it looks like it may have to be my social life which sucks.

Think I better make a list, or two and get packing planning...

What if?

2011-08-05T19:55:00.000+01:00

The one that left came back - will the confused mist clear and the answer be there?

How late is too late - or when is just in time?

frak

Poorly Sick

2011-08-01T18:27:00.000+01:00

And have no one to bring me ice lollies.

Excited

2011-07-05T22:43:00.000+01:00

I'm sooooo very very excited and I can't tell you why. Good job I'm off to The Hill The Breathes on Thursday for a week as I am not sure I would be able to keep my trap shut otherwise!

Not forgiven

2011-06-08T19:14:00.000+01:00

but its time for me to move on.

Work shoe challenge

2011-06-02T17:47:00.000+01:00

A work colleague and I both love our Shoes, so this month we have challenged each other to wear a different pair of shoes to work every day.

We started yesterday - and she raised the game today with a fabulous pair of teal patent platforms. I only have half my shoe collection down here with me so this is going to be interesting - I'll need to raise my game.

This is how I started the challenge yesterday (please excuse the dodgy work carpet):

I'll add today's later - when I get round to taking a picture.

Fancy taking up the challenge?

FA Cup Final - 14th May 2011

2011-05-15T18:08:00.000+01:00

Another brilliant day!

Gealgum Cottage

2011-05-09T17:52:00.002+01:00

I'm just back from a weekend in Northern Ireland at the lovely Gealgum Cottage just outside Derrilyn. The cottage is a beautiful small thatch with a great caravan that acts as the second double bedroom. Booked through www.underthethatch.co.uk which has a great range of properties to choose from.

The cottage sleeps 5, with two doubles and a single and is filled with vintage and retro touches.

The soda bread and jam were a nice touch - and the milk in the fridge too. Unfortunately the promised fuel for a fire was not there and the cottage wasn't as clean as it could have been (the dishwasher smelt so fusty when opened it made me almost sick - also we had to clean some of the crockery and utensils before using but these are really really minor niggles in what was othewise a lovely cottage). The underfloor heating made the place cosy - but if you're over 6ft be careful in the kitchen.

The cottage is slanting - my friend took a bit to find his sea legs and felt quite queasy until he got used to the fact that the cottage runs down hill (the bed in the main bedroom is on blocks on one side to level it out) but this just adds to the general quirkiness.

The caravan was lovely too, with it's own wood burner to keep it cosy

The setting is beautiful, the only sounds you will hear are the birds and farm animals - and it gets properly dark which was so restful. Its a short drive over the border into Ireland (we went for a pint one afternoon) and only 12 miles from Enniskillen - where the Buttermarket is worth a pottle for the indpendent galleries and craft shops and great cafe.

Close by the cottage is Gealgum Quay - which is described on the website as 'your own private beach'; it isn't. It's about half a miles walk away down a leafy road and has picnic tables with metal plates on which to place your bar-b-q (genius). The picture was taken as the clouds became quite stormy but the predictive constant rain never came.

All in all I had a lovely weekend (topped off by a visit to Stormont Castle which I shall share the photo's off in another post) and the neighbours were a pleasure - here they are saying hello:

Scary Psycho Duck

2011-05-04T19:32:00.000+01:00

I have a stream at the end of my garden - it's lovely and peaceful and beautiful.

I also have a very very angry duck - he doesn't eat the bread I put out and often comes up towards the house and quacks aggressively at me (yes honestly).

So today I decided to come home to take a late call with colleagues in the US - whilst I was on the phone pottering around the house I opened the back door and went back through to the front of the house.

I was in the front room when something caught my eye - it was only the bloody duck waddling across the conservatory. He was ok - then realised that the windows were not open and started to panic and get angry. He threw himself at the windows, and shouted and shouted. Eventually I worked up the nerve to walk out of the door (hope the silly thing would follow me or at least see me). When I got out his Missus was out there quacking away (this should be sweet but just added to my fear).

Eventually he got out - then proceeded to stare at me quacking......I managed to run past and get back in the house and lock up. I don't have a great track record with ducks (ask KBW about Paris when we were 18) and this one had already made me wary.

Glad he's out and ok - but blimey I'm all a fluster.

Silly PCB - I know!

Cathartic

2011-04-29T21:41:00.002+01:00

A British Bank Holiday

2011-04-25T18:13:00.000+01:00

Unusually good weather, no chores to do, so a lovely day in the garden revolving around food and relaxing:

Come Back

2011-04-25T09:49:00.000+01:00

I'm Feeling Fine......

2011-04-21T18:05:00.002+01:00

No really, I'm FINE

City At Wembley - FA Cup Semi Final 16th April 2011

2011-04-17T14:28:00.000+01:00

I Believe in Pink

2011-04-15T18:46:00.000+01:00

Thank you KBW - I believe in you xx

Lips are unhappy without you

2011-04-14T22:16:00.000+01:00

One thing at a time

2011-04-09T08:18:00.000+01:00

I have all this stuff going on, all these things to deal with, and just not enough brain space to deal with it.

I need to prioritise, deal with one thing at a time and not let the other stuff get to me.

Guard my heart and sanity and give myself a break.

So new day, new attitude, Onwards.

Aglio e Olio

2011-03-27T11:14:00.000+01:00

I love this dish spaghetti with garlic, chilli & olive oil it was a dish that my mum had at the convent in Malta when growing up (strange I know) and now one of my absolute favourite supper standbys.

However - a word to the wise. Wash up before you go to bed or your house will STINK the next morning.......whoops

Ouch

2011-03-25T17:20:00.000Z

"addressee has gone away" who knew such a simple phrase could hurt so much?

It's still my home - isn't it? Well that has helped me put my wobble back in it's box that's for sure.

Yes home would be easy, going back simple - but then where would the happy be?

The ostrich has managed to peck even with their head still firmly in the sand. Who knew?

Beyond Grumpy

2011-03-24T16:45:00.002Z

I am beyond grumpy today. Questioning my decisions and actions, wondering if I have made a massive mistake.

I'm taking a book and a cup of tea to bed.

Missing

2011-03-17T19:50:00.004Z

There is something missing, I've looked all over but I can't find it. You see it's not a thing. It's you.

I miss you.

You may not be her first.......

2011-03-08T13:25:00.000Z

How f*cking dare you

2011-03-07T19:11:00.000Z

I don't get angry often, and usually if I do it passes quickly. But that email you sent me late Saturday has infuriated me. How fucking dare you?

After everything I did for you - every part of me I gave you send me a message like that.

Well fuck you.

Belle & Sebastian - I Want The World To Stop

2011-03-05T12:54:00.000Z

Seeing Red

2011-03-05T11:33:00.000Z

Not quite the smack you in the face red we were hoping for but a nice change

Flying Solo & going red

2011-03-04T23:24:00.000Z

Tomorrow is the lovely Zee's birthday party. I am really looking forward to it - its a big one and is going to be much fun but I am going alone. First time since I left the boy that I have been to a party that would normally be a 'couples' invite alone.

I'm a bit nervous tbh. I'm sure it will be fine - there are going to be lot of other lovely people there who I know virtually and one has suggested sharing a cab so I don't have to walk in alone - which is all good.

But first we go redder than red. Yep at 8am tomorrow morning I will be sitting in the ~~dentists~~ sorry Hairdressers Chair and going Christina Hendricks red.....watch this space

Tunnel Vision

2011-02-28T18:31:00.000Z

Just because I get why I'm not in the tunnel right now - doesn't mean I have to like it.

Things I do now.....

2011-02-27T15:53:00.000Z

......I live alone.

So if you follow my blog or know me you will know that I am now living alone - this is really only the first time in my life I have truly lived alone. I have lived alone during the week before but never really had my own place. Whilst its taking a bit of getting used to I have to admit I love it.

I am doing things that make me happy and that I like. For example I have diptyque candles and light them most days, I cook and eat fish, I watch Glee in the lounge on the big TV, I have fresh flowers and today I stepped it up a gear.

Before today the only DVDs I owned here were Mad Men Seasons 1-3 and the complete Sex In the City (I'm a 38 year old woman what did you expect), but today i have bought a number of DVDs that I would never have been allowed time to watch at home. I now own The Notebook, Nine, Sunset Boulevard, Sweet Charity, The King & I, South Pacific, Oklahoma, The Pajama Game, Easter Parade, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Roman Holiday, Annie Get Your Gun, Fame (the original) & Some Like it Hot.

I have a pork belly roasting, a tub of half baked and a bottle of sauvignon blanc........I should be ironing but may not get round to it, I mean it can wait can't it!

Happy Sunday.

Waking up naturally

2011-02-26T09:10:00.002Z

This morning I woke without the alarm, it was about quarter to 7. I felt so much better waking naturally and was able to get up easily and get on with my day.

Why is it that on Saturday when I have time and space for a lie in I am up and awake but during the week I am in danger of wearing out the snooze button.

I need to work on this.

Today we wear is Red for Heart Awareness Month

2011-02-25T12:21:00.000Z

I'd rather be kissing........

2011-02-24T20:36:00.000Z

Productive Day

2011-02-21T22:29:00.000Z

I had a busy day today but for a change got loads done.

No meetings at all at work meant I was able to crack on with my to do list which is back on on track and I took the opportunity to leave at sensible o'clock and came home and made a skirt and some sausage roles. Watched Being Human on iPlayer and Glee. All in all a very productive day.

I am keeping myself busy to help keep my mind off the things I miss. Right now I miss my home, CP, my stuff, The American, football, exercise/yoga and feeling like I am in charge (not necessarily in that order).

I'm not in charge or control, I am not the one calling the shots or even holding a casting vote. So I need to relax, go with the flow see where things go and what life brings. But as we all know I'm rubbish without a list or a plan. Maybe this will be the new me...........maybe!

For now The American makes me feel a bit like this:

I just hate having to wait for him to call my name.

Things I would like in 2011

2011-02-20T10:46:00.000Z

It will be worth it

2011-02-19T12:15:00.000Z

Yes things are tough sometimes but you know what - there is light. Sometimes it's dim and distant and other times so bright I can feel it's warmth.

I know that there will be more dark then light for a little bit, but you know what it's coming and it will get better, easier.

The optimist is returning, I like her she smiles, laughs, believes in good.

Wise Words

2011-02-15T20:48:00.000Z

Makes Sense!

2011-02-14T19:08:00.000Z

found here http://niamhy.tumblr.com/post/3257564140

Lonely

2011-02-13T19:44:00.000Z

I used to love being alone, having time to myself, space to just be. I seem to have lost the ability to be alone now - now I am not alone I am lonely.

A list for boys of things girls like......

2011-02-11T23:03:00.004Z

So KBW and I are having a Friday night girls night and it's time to make some lists (yes you know who you are that started the list writing...).

So we thought we'd start with A List For Boys of Things Girls Like - what with it being Valentines and all it may be of some use.

So here goes, lets start simple

Flowers

Antique Rose Hat Box from The Real Flower Company

Yes I know it may be old hat and that it's been done before but we really like flowers - but seriously garage flowers NO no no no not even for your Mum. KBW prefers all the same no mixed bouquets , a massive bunch of either Lilies, Roses, Peonies, Tulips etc. PCB is open to a nice hand tied bouquet BUT in tonal shades not loads of brights or fakes. And boy NEVER red & white (only for a funeral and even then if you must only roses). If in doubt this is the place to shop http://www.realflowers.co.uk/

Chocolate

Whilst Dairy Milk has it's place when buying a gift for some one you love (or who's pants you want to get inside) it's not the answer. The answer, young Jedi's according to KBW, is Pink Champagne Truffles from Charbonnel et Walker:

Me I'm more of a Rococo gal, Chicchi de Cafe are my fave but look at this fab choice for Valentines (Hot Lips Chili truffles and red lips):

Underwear

Ok - this is a lot about personal style. KBW and I have very different styles (and body shapes) so we'll give you both of our recommendations BUT boys, please....never ever Ann Summer - it's itchy scratchy and wrong wrong wrong.

KBW first : Myla, Myla Myla and if you're feeling particularly flush La Perla Black Label (but you may need a 2nd mortgage):

Myla (www.myla.com)

La Perla (www.laperla.com)

and now PCB: Well I love both of KBWs choice but I'm a bit more of a What Katie Did gal:

Most importantly get the size right - just sneak in her drawer when she's out or downstairs or something and check the size of her favourite undies - you can't go wrong.

Jewelry

Diamonds - nuff said......

No seriously - girls love diamonds but if you're looking for something a little more in budget I suggest either Links of London (and right now they have a really cute Fortune Teller to down load) or Wright & Teague......or look on their sites and go and get something similar:

Links of London 20/20 collection

Wright & Teague Gala Bangles

So that's the obvious out of the way!

So what else do girls like, well it depends on the girl so we'll be back with our individual views.

I've Been Loving You Too Long - Otis Redding

2011-02-11T20:16:00.000Z

Comfort Food

2011-02-06T20:15:00.002Z

Sometimes when things seem really bad finding a portion of your Mum's mince & onion gravy in the freezer really does make the world seem a better place.

Homecoming

2011-02-01T05:48:00.000Z

After over a week away, too many airports and too many gins I am home.

I am tired, but woke at 3.30 as my body has no fraking clue what time it is. Sure I'll fly away for the weekend hours after landing back from the US....different airport you say, sure no problem. I'll just drive for two hours after landing from Philly rather than get a car back to my nice comfortable home.

I've returned home to a tidy, cold but empty fridge place. The garage has run out of milk but my brother was coming so I needed to get home. I had gin all was fine.

So here I am 5.30am, it's cold and my various bags and cases are still in the car. I can't get into my room to turn the heating on early as my brother is in there and I have no milk so can't make tea.

I am jet lagged, a little hungover and cold.

First day in the office for over a week today - wonder what joys are in store, couldn't face turning the crackberry on when I got back yesterday so may just play it by ear and wing the first few hours (to be fair this wouldn't be the first time).

But can't get ready and get in early as brother is in my room where my black dresses are kept. I could get the bags out of the car - is it still -2.5 out there?

Coffee it is then - if only to have something warm to hold to take the chill off.

Ups and Downs

2011-01-22T12:16:00.000Z

After a great week, comes the low.

This week has been productive, fun, enjoyable and I was feeling good. Happy even. Last night I went for a lovely meal at The Yew Tree and a fun evening with The American but then I had an awful night. I didn't sleep well at all, the inner monologue wouldn't stop. The guilt, the sense of failure, wishing I could block out the past but not wanting to forget it all.

I re-read some old posts this week and know that I tried and I wanted it to work but I couldn't fix us.

The Boy is trying so hard, wants to make it better but I am in a different place. So the guilt stays with me, I have hours where it's quiet and I have fun, enjoy myself, relax but then its back and it hits me hard.

The timing is all wrong but you can't predict when or where these things will happen. I need to be stronger and more honest - not give false hope where I know there isn't any and be fair to both of us.

This may sound cryptic - it isn't meant to, more a stream of the crap thats in my head.

When something new starts its supposed to be exciting - the butterflies, the anticipation. But when something hits you like a surprise when you are dealing with loss and the grief of something dying it's all tinged with guilt, tainted almost. So I have the highest highs and the very low lows.

Jesh PCB - man up and get on with it.

Successful Sale Shopping

2011-01-17T23:32:00.000Z

I have had a good winter sale - but these might been my fave's:

Sleep alludes me

2010-12-27T01:29:00.000Z

Here I am again; 1.25 am and not asleep. I'm so very very tired but when I close my eyes my mind starts to whir and I just can't get to sleep.

All these thoughts and questions. I'm a planner but don't feel able to make plans.

My heart and head are in flux, I miss my home, my normal Christmas, my life. But I know that I can't go back to being unhappy.

I feel so much guilt and responsibility, it's a heavy load.

The person I would like to speak with is not available - it's Christmas I should not be bringing others down.

My parents arrive again tomorrow - I am both looking forward to and dreading it. I best try to get some sleep.

No words

2010-12-24T15:24:00.000Z

I want to call you but I don't know what I would say. I feel like I have cried for days and if I speak to you suspect it will start again.

There is no good time to do this - I know that. I know it seems cruel, heartless. I'm sorry - truly sorry.

Like you said - Merry Fucking Christmas.

Don't read this is you're feeling low in any way at all

2010-12-23T11:18:00.001Z

I knew today was going to be tough. After being so busy yesterday and having such a good day I know that today would feel flat. What I didn't expect was this wave of sadness and loneliness. The drive to work was tough and then I had to sit in the car park for 15 minutes to pull myself together. Then when I came in to the office I came in to flowers from my husband. He has not once, in 13 years bought me flowers. He's really trying, trying to show me he can change and it can be different.

I need to stop crying and think. I was so sure, so positive.

Today is not a good day.

Patience

2010-12-21T18:51:00.000Z

I lack patience. I want the pain to stop now. I want the call to be made and received.

I'm rubbish at waiting

waiting sucks

Decisions (or lack of)

2010-12-18T10:39:00.000Z

I left my little cottage at 6.30 this morning to drive north to get a car full of my things. As I got closer I started to feel sick and tense. I knew The Boy wouldn't be here but it feels like invading - like he should be here to supervise what I chose to take and leave.

I have been wandering from room to room, looking at things and thinking about what to take (or not). Some things were straightforward (coats, handbags etc) but others have left me in turmoil and crying like a baby. I have some lovely towels from Liberty but they are hanging in the bathroom - it seems wrong to take things an leave an empty space. Pathetic really.

Everytime I look at or pick something up I find myself over thinking - it feel all wrong taking things from his home (I know it's our house), leaving gaps where my life was. I really need to get myself together and be more pragmatic.

Now however, I am waiting for the plumber. He was due at 10.......the car is packed I can't face any more I just want to run back south where I can pretend its not happening.

Dividing a Life

2010-12-17T17:21:00.000Z

I'm heading North tomorrow to pack some things. I have no idea where to start. Clothes, shoes make sense but what about DVDs, books, the PS3, the coffee machine, my knives, a casserole dish. We've been together so long its not about who brought what into the relationship - it's not as easy as that's yours thats mine; most of it is 'ours'.

Some of it is simple - The Boy would never want my Gilmore Girls or West Wing DVDs, my grandmothers dinner service but what about the wedding gifts? Who takes the glasses - do we split them? Who takes the cutlery? The whole things has my head in a spin and feels too soon, too raw. I want some of my things of course I do but I don't want to leave the boy with a shell of a house or with empty spaces.

The other side is my cottage is tiny - where would I put anything??

M&D arrive in a few hours, they're bringing boxes - all very organised. I just want to go to my bed and hide until the new year. I know that standing still just prolongs the pain but the pace is scaring me......leaving no room for doubt, reflection, consideration.

But what room do I need or want, I'm done I know I am and as much as that hurts it's where I am.

Frack.

I can't ignore Christmas.

2010-12-10T18:47:00.002Z

I have no tree or lights but there is a Christmas welcome.

Clarks

2010-12-08T11:32:00.000Z

It's been a while since a shoe post hasn't it?

Ok so here we go. At the weekend I was in Manchester and I have been after a new pair of flat black leather knee high boots. I saw some in a Clarks advert that I thought might work but as is the way with my hughmongous calves and little ankles they just looked daft but whilst there The Boy spotted some other boots he liked, they are lovely, battered brown leather with a rubber sole, laces up the front but a handy zip at the side:

They're called Malabar Squash are £69.99 (they are also available in a light tan suede).

Whilst trying them on had a glance at the Clarks Original's stand. I love Clarks Originals and have two pairs already (it's the mod in me you see). I tried on a pair of dog print desert boots but they were a step too far but then I saw these beauties:

And I was sold. They're called Street Chic and whilst I paid £49 for them they are currently £35 with free delivery and returns (gutted I only got them on Saturday).

Just incase you are concerned that I have gone all flat on you - it's still about the heels here are some pics of my most recent purchases:

Both from Kurt Geiger - both lovely.

Seeing Red

2010-12-07T18:12:00.000Z

It's a ritual I guess, something ends, something has to change - something I can do myself, something that feels fresh, new. My choice, my control.

It's not a big thing, but it feels.....well symbolic I guess. So goodbye brown hello red.

The toughest decisions

2010-12-05T08:12:00.000Z

Even though I know it's the right decision & the right thing for me to do this is the toughest decision I have ever made.

So now what? The grief and loss; the pain and accusation; the dividing of a life built together.

My failure to fix us, to make it work is almost too much to bare.

This is the beginning of a long, slow, painful road. I know it's the right course of action but the devastation left behind and the guilt of knowing I did that is a heavy load.

I'm sorry for the pain now and the pain to come. I'm sorry that we broke beyond repair. I'm sorry I failed.

Duty

2010-10-30T16:54:00.000+01:00

We are in Scarborough this weekend. The Boy is running the Scarborough 10k in the morning and today we are doing our duty and spending time with my MIL.

I find this very very hard. She is not a pleasant woman, is racist, homophobic, sexist and you can't just put it all down to her age (she's 80). I spend my time biting my tongue, trying not to respond to her comments, trying to be patient.

She's also getting a bit deaf, so mishears (when she chooses) or ignores completely. And the third and final thing is she really really smells - not over perfumed smell but dirty clothes, unwashed smell. The Boy has little sense of smell; I unfortunately do not and have to overcompensate with my own perfume.

For years I have tried to build a relationship, take interest in her health, her friends, her life but nothing - there is no warmth there, no sense of family, we do not belong to each other. She has an interesting relationship with The Boy. I am so very close to my parents that I just can't fathom their relationship - or non relationship more describes it.

So we would be here even if he was not running out of a sense of duty. At least the view is good.

On the move

2010-10-17T10:45:00.002+01:00

I am really pleased to say that I am moving.....huzzah

Well only during the week. No more Scout Hut for me, I am moving to small cottage with an open fire and lovely garden.

I shall share more once the contracts are signed but in the meantime I have furniture to buy.

Any excuse!

Marriage is a Test of Memory

2010-10-10T16:35:00.000+01:00

Remember why you chose him

Remember why he chose you

Remember when he asked - and you said yes

Remember the first time, the best time

Remember the safety in times of need

Remember the sharing of good news

Don't let the candle blow out - use the memory to fuel the flame.

The Grey Mist

2010-10-10T10:06:00.000+01:00

I've been in hiding again. It's been a tough and painful month, after a fantastic trip to New York we came home to real life, back to weekly commuting and weekends crammed with cooking, cleaning and ironing. It was only a month ago that we were drinking cocktails in Soho - relaxed and happy, not a care in the world.

Since then I have been offered my role a on a perm basis and have accepted it. I am no longer a contractor but am a full time employee with all the benefits and constraints that brings. No more finishing for Christmas on the 15th and not starting again until the end of January. No more taking the summer off. No more being able to meet friends for lunch at at time of the week as I can make the time up or just sack off a day - it's my money I'm loosing after all. No more tax breaks.

But, I love the company and the job is great and the salary good, I have sick pay! Holiday pay, insurance (if I die The Boy can pay the mortgage several times over 4x salary insurance and another 4x salary if I die in an accident). I have colleagues who are friends and challenges.

However, it's 200 miles away from home which is not ideal but I want to be selfish - I think.

Otherwise things are tough. Marriage is work I know that and right now it's hard work but we'll get passed that, we always do. The weight continues to come off (well it did before this weekend and my cold induced binge eating) and I hope to be back to the gym next week (snot permitting).

The beginning of Oct has been mixed, a new job, a surprise pregnancy followed 48 hours later with another miscarriage, martini's, friends, a home away from home house hunt and now a cold.

The grey mist has descended and Fuck really does seem to be the answer to everything (see www.pontecarloblue.posterous.com ). But it will pass - writing it down means it already is starting to. I'm out for drink with Zee tomorrow - will tell her all, let her wise words soothe me and guide me and start to repair.

Blimey I'm a miserable fuck.

A little bit of MoMA

2010-09-06T14:31:00.000+01:00

Yesterday afternoon was spent taking in some beauty at MoMA. Here's a little bit of what we saw:

These pictures do not do them justice at all.

The High Line - New York

2010-09-05T23:48:00.000+01:00

This morning The Boy and I went for a stroll on The High Line, what a lovely way to spend an hour....

I really do love New York.

Counting my blessings

2010-08-29T19:36:00.003+01:00

Wow, the response to my last post has been amazing.

My true friends have read the real message and have contacted me with the virtual hugs I need.

It was indeed a big decision and if I think too hard about it I am at risk of crying. But the decision is made. I have my beautiful sort of niece and nephew R & E, and intend to be the best Aunt possible.

I have my grown up sort of nephew C - and intend to spoil him rotten and always be here for him as he finds his way through the world.

I have the best friends I could hope for - I love and feel loved. I am blessed.

Thank you - you know who you are. xx

PCB x

Time for a mid year review

2010-08-28T12:07:00.000+01:00

well well well here we are nearly at the start of a new term and I have found myself reading back and it's time for a mid year review. So lets start with:

Work

I love the job I'm doing, love the company and the work. Have made some really good friends and think that they may offer me a perm role. This is a challenge as it's 200 miles away from home so would mean continuing to live away Monday to Thursday - most weeks that's fine as I like to have my own space but The Boy is getting a bit grumpy about it. I think in honesty it was the off season that made him a bit bored but now that the footie is back on he won't even notice I'm not here (as long as there's food in the fridge).

Weight

Well I am 2.5 stone down and much happier still a bit to go but it's all going well. I completed the Moonwalk and have been an occasional gym attendee, but it's all heading in the right direction. Walking helps and the new friends I've made at work are great.

Baby

In all honesty I think I have accepted that this isn't going to happen for me. I'm 38 soon, and a contractor - not really the greatest situation. So whilst there is an element of heartbreak I am coming to terms with the reality that I will not be a Mum. It hurst and saddens me, but it's the reality of the situation.

Life

Well the baby decision has knocked me for six the last few months, a lot of thinking and to-ing and fro-ing and the black mood has descended slightly. I am not keeping in touch with old friends, not on here much or on twitter. Finding other ways to pass my time. I'm okay just licking my wounds a bit, boosting my ego and concentrating on work.

So what's next - well still doing the clutter stuff, still losing weight, be the best I can be at work and emerge from this short black period and pay some more attention to my ever patient friends (they know who they are).

So new uniform, new bag, fresh pens and pencils.....new opportunity, new beginning - love that new term feeling.

The Cleveland Way

2010-08-22T17:52:00.000+01:00

This weekend we went to Scarborough and we walked from Whitby back to Scarborough on The Cleveland Way. It was a cloudy start to the day but the sun came out and we saw the North Yorkshire Coast at it's best.

Its a tough tough but if you get a good day it is truly beautiful.

Things I bought in Philly

2010-08-13T08:43:00.000+01:00

Still not sleeping very well which is annoying as when I first got back I was all puffed up and proud as I thought I had escaped the jet lag.....ah well.

When in Philadelphia last week I was staying opposite the King of Prussia mall so after work on Monday I skipped across the car park from the hotel to have a nosy and to pick up some things for The Boy.

First stop was the pharmacy for some over the counter drugs - they really so have much better pain killers available there don't they. Then in I went. I had a plan I needed to get to Kheils and Lacoste for The Boy and they were on the same floor and section of the mall so that was my aim.

However, best laid plans and all that as the sales were still on so I did quite a bit of browsing before landing in Michael Kors. I love Michael Kors clothes - they seem to me to be made for real women, you know those that have a body that's reflects actually having enjoyed life a bit. I had always assumed that it was out of my price range but was more than pleasantly surprised that his diffusion line was very reasonable and that they had a sale on........oh dear oh dear. As I walked in the beautiful store, (light, airy, soft music, shiny things) they nices sales assistant said hello and just let me browse a bit. As I was working my way back, she just passed me and said - 'sorry the place is a bit of a mess we are just re-arranging as many more items went on sale today'. Kerching - SALE. They were putting loads of bags on the shelves at the front of the store as they were on sale - not end of the line naff but some beautiful MK bags....if I hadn't just invested in a bag I would have been tempted but managed to hold myself back.

However, I did buy a fabulous top:

(not great quality photo's I'm afraid as taken with phone)

I also bought a black jersey dress, it has a sort of cowl neck, drape and a little ruching at one side. Perfect no crease dress for travelling (I wore it for the flight home)

Both the dress and the top were $89 dollars. I also bought some shoes but have no picture so will have to sort that.

I then went to Kheils and Lacoste for The Boy - both shops had the items he wanted for the same price in dollars as in pounds and there was no purchase tax either so with the exchange rate up around the 158 mark it was a good value trip.

I had a bit more of a wander around and bought three pairs of jeans from Old Navy - whilst they are not the best quality in the world they were reduced to $19 a pair so even after the exchange charge on my bank card I got three pairs for about £38. I got two skinny pairs, one dark one lighter denim and one boot cut. It's so nice to have a pair of jeans that actually fit - one of the things I love about shopping in he US is that the sizes are much lower numbers - so a UK size 16 is a US size 12 - this makes me very happy.

Then I went to J Crew - oh my they had their autumn stock in and there were some truly lovely items but I stuck to basics and this is what I got:

All in all a great success.

The Liberty Hotel - Boston, USA

2010-08-08T18:54:00.000+01:00

This week I've been away with work; I was in Philadelphia for 3 days then up to Boston for a day. In Phily I was in an anonymous Crown Plaza hotel, at The King of Prussia Mall - more about that another time. The Crown Plaza was fine, made better by the brilliant barman Dan who made my drinks without asking what I wanted (after the first order) and when he was packed busy the next night just made me a G&T and passed it through the crowd so I didn't have to wait. After the otherwise dullness by the time I got to Boston I was really looking forward to The Liberty.

I was originally booked in to The Westin in Waltham, it's fine - perfectly fine but it's big and corporate and when traveling alone is not exactly comfortable in my opinion. I was talking to a colleague and she said that I should go to The Liberty that the company has a rate there so it's an approved hotel. I am so very glad I took her advice.

The Liberty is in downtown Boston, a walk away from all the great places and is in an old jail. It's a boutique style hotel, but large, as well as being a very busy night spot - the two bars were buzzing when I arrived at 8.30pm on a hot and humid Wednesday night.

On arrival you are given a glass of champagne before going to your room, and what a lovely room it is. I was in The Tower part of the hotel, only on the 3rd and but had a great floor to ceiling window, so just about had a view if I crooked my neck a bit. The room was classic boutique hotel:

my sort of mini bar

and a great bathroom with fab mirrors & lovely Molton Brown products

and I would muchly like one of these for my bath

After changing I went downstairs to The Clink restaurant - you see what they did there, one of many Jail style touches including a do not disturb door sign that reads 'Solitary'. I had a vodka martini (not quite dry enough for my liking) with beef carpaccio which was melt in the mouth tasty but a few too many capers, followed by parpadalle with a lamb ragu which was tasty tasty tasty just a tad too salty. The service was excellent and the crowd bubbling but not rowdy. Shame that the food was a little 'over done', not over cooked just not quite there.

I then went to the main lobby bar for another Martini, much better this time served by a very handsome barman who was polite but busy chatting to his slightly drunk room mate (who as I understand it was moving out and was going to miss the beer exchange and pizza night.....). They had every bottle behind the bar you could think of and even make their own infusion of bourbon (Markers Mark infused with a vanilla tobacco which smelt amazing when over ice).

Remembering the Martini rule, I said my goodnights and went back to my room. Just before the lift doors closed the actor Michael Cera (in case you are saying Who?) jumped in - I was a little star struck to be honest having just been watching one of his films the weekend before with The Boy. He was very polite, asked where I was from and then we wished each other a good night - if only I had been on a higher floor I am sure we would be BFFs by now.

Breakfast was served in the room and was massive, I had pancakes with a side of bacon and scrambled eggs - there was enough for two possibly three. I managed about half of it - but then couldn't move for quite some time.....

Overall my experience at The Liberty was great - I would strongly recommend it if you're in Boston for business or on a City break. The prices were not silly and the location and decor made it a great treat.

Check it out here http://www.libertyhotel.com/

Up, Up & Away.....

2010-07-31T19:15:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was The Boy's 41st Birthday - last year was meant to be the big one. We had planned to go to New York and he mentioned that he would like to go in a hot air ballooon; unfortunately redundancy (his) and lack of work (mine) meant that we didn't have the pennies to stretch to it. But this year good fortune (my lovely employer and my boss's decision to have a meeting in New York) and good timing (Virgin Balloons having room on a flight on his birthday) this years it's all coming to plan.....

We're off to NYC in September so more of that later but for now it's all about the Balloon flight.

After a nightmare journey from hell home on Thursday night (including parking on the M1 for nearly 3 hours at 11pm) and after 2.5 hours sleep I woke up The Boy just after 4am and gently told him we had to leave in an hour.....

We left at 5.15am, coffee flasks in hand, bacon butties wrapped in foil, and set off for Ripley Castle. It was a quiet, still morning - not bright sunshine but clearing and misty in places. We arrived at Ripley Castle (just North of Harrogate) and helped to inflate the balloon

The rise up was so smooth, and we were soon up and off

it wasn't a very windy so we didn't travel very far butwere traveling at about 12 miles per hour and at one point were up at 3,600 ft above sea level. You could see far and wide but my favourite bit was the clouds reflected in the lake. Here's some pretty pictures:

Step monster

2010-07-24T21:39:00.002+01:00

I'm a step monster, but an estranged one. I shan't bore you with the details but it got too difficult to see then or have a relationship just over 4 years ago. In September this year they will be 14 and 12..wowzers.

About a month ago oldest stepson found me via facebook and added me as a friend - not sure what his motive is - or even if he has one but wow.

We've been intouch about 1x per week since then just a quick email chat but its all very strange. very very strange.....

The boy is ignoring this in case it comes to nothing - too painful a box to reopen I guess.

Drum Roll Please........

2010-07-23T12:55:00.002+01:00

Ta da we raised £340 from out bake sale and in even better news lovely employer has agreed to match so that's £680 raised for Marie Curie Cancer Care...Hip Hip Hooray.

Bloomin Marvelous

2010-07-19T15:01:00.000+01:00

At work today we held a bake sale in aid of the Marie Curie Cancer charity. We took their Blooming Great Tea Party and adapted it to fit our working arrangements.

So Monday morning bright and early the HR team arrived armed with tupperware a plenty and all sorts of cakes, we had massive cream cakes:

Plenty of cupcakes/fairy cakes:

And some more heathly alternatives in a fruit slice and banana breakfast loaf (which was scrummy I donated and tested this one just to be sure):

By 11.30am we had raised just short of £300 thanks to the generosity of my colleagues here at work.

We set up an honestly table in the corner of the office restuarant for the rest of the day and will add up the total raised at the end of the day:

I am so pleased with the results today - the excellent baking skills of the HR team, all of them giving up their time and donating cakes for sale. Particular thanks to Caroline (pictured with me at the top) who did all the organisation for the day and did all the posters and advertising - now for the clearing up....

Step 1

2010-07-11T12:46:00.000+01:00

We're back from holiday and my organising and sorting has begun. First the oven - it needs a good clean so I was up early this morning with the Mr Muscle and the lakeland oven cleaning gel stuff and on my knees.

Some very very stubborn burnt on stuff but it's getting there that's for sure.

We will have lived here 8 years next week - blimey. Need to decorate the bedroom this summer, we redid downstairs this year and last (did the Kitchen over May bank holiday weekend I think it was) but other than the bathroom haven't done the bedroom since we moved in (we did it before we moved in - did the whole house whilst it was still empty the week before we moved in). Since then we have decorated the bathroom 4 times - it's a lovely deep red at the moment which sounds wrong but works well.

I'm going to get all the 'stuff' sorted first them decorate - light and airy bedroom I think, but not sure what? Nay ideas? Any good blogs to get ideas from?

Nearly time to go clean the gunk out of the over before spending the afternoon baking for out Blooming Great Team Party in aid of Marie Curie Cancer at work tomorrow. Victoria Sponge anyone?

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-07T10:45:00.000+01:00

Sunshine, Blue Sky, Sunflowers:

All taken on the road from Seicq to Neuvic Le Chateau in Charente, France.

Decisions decisions

2010-07-05T12:00:00.000+01:00

I have had a lot of head space this week, getting up early each morning doing 30 mins of yoga self practice whilst the boy is out for a run then 30 mins on the work blackberry to keep things ticking over whilst I am away.

The rest of my time has been spent reading, relaxing and generally doing nothing. I have reached the state of relaxation where I am open to the fresh possibilities that holidays bring.

I have made some decisions, not all that I am ready to share yet and not all life changing or earth shattering - some very simple that I just needed the clarity of space and time to reach.

When I get home I am going to declutter our house, again, we have a lot of stuff and almost every surface is covered with stuff - not necessarily memories or keepsakes but often just stuff. Post that has not been fileds, necklaces removed and then never put away, gig tickets waiting to be put in frames and put up, old CDs gathering dusts, empty candle sticks, that habitat show horn from a few years ago, unwatched DVDs. Stuff collected over years and just placed, without thought or reason. I have room in storage if I don't want to throw, recycle or pass on but the clutter must end. I don't have time for it.

I'm going to do the same with my shoes and clothes, if they aren't being worn even if they are 'in season' they are going into storage - better planning better organisation, I need space.

My home office isn't being let off either - work that has been untouched for more than 18 months is going into storage - it should probably be shredded but you never know........ That colour printer and those cartridges that I got for a bargain but have never been able to synch with our Macs is going on ebay or to charity - it works just only with PCs and with someone who is clever enough to network it - ie not us.

The box of stuff which contains the manuals for everything in the house and the spare parts that came with each machine is either going in the loft, garage or to the storage. We never use it - or look in it.

Finally the book shelves in there filled with old work and work related books are being cleared out. I want my work space back - with space. And if it works out the way I plan with a sewing table and space to store my materials etc.

That's it for now - not life altering or major but cleansing and positive. The rest will come when the plans are fully formed but for now I will continue to enjoy the luxury of time and space to think.

En vacances

2010-07-05T11:34:00.000+01:00

I am on holiday in French France at my parents house. The trip so far has mostly consisted of reading, eating, drinking and relaxing.

Not a bad life.

Scout Hut before and After a little bit of a re-org

2010-06-25T08:20:00.000+01:00

Before

So I now have light in the places that need natural light and dark where I sleep - that's better.

Where did the time go?

2010-06-20T13:27:00.000+01:00

Blimey has it really been two weeks? Work has been very busy and the weekends have passed with a blur. The TV at home seems to be stuck on either BBC HD or ITV HD and the World Cup - my conversations with The Boy seem to be limited to half time or full time and I am missing him a bit.

However, he loves football and I knew that when I hitched myself to that wagon so no complaints here.

So, what have I been up to. Well there was another trip to Geneva, then we went to Scarborough for the weekend - the weather wasn't great but The Boy and I had a great night out (here we are before the wine was consumed):

The next day I indulged my love for Asparagus once more with parma ham, roasted asparagus and poached duck eggs (on nom nom nom):

I made gifts for my friend who's baby girls is due soon:

Inspired by the pretty fabric I finally got around to making myself a dress from some fabric I bought last year. I am so pleased with the result and wore it to work on Tuesday with a little red cardigan - many compliments were made:

So here I am again, two weeks later. We've been to the coast again this weekend - making use of the flat we have there as we promised we would this year. Today is chore day but not too much cooking at The Boy is in London for two days and Glasgow for two days so he only need food one night. I have a pile of ironing and am back down south this evening but that's okay. The weather is a little disappointing but the good news is that we are off to see Mum & Dad next weekend and their weather is fab - huzzah time to warm our bones.

In Geneva

2010-06-07T17:58:00.000+01:00

I am in a hotel in Geneva again with work. It's been a bit of a day, nearly 2 hours spreadsheet hell this morning, followed by a quick pack and dash then 3 hours to Heathrow (quite like terminal 3 but gutted to see a bag I bought at LK Bennett on the 28th May at HALF PRICE there) Sushi, then flight to Geneva, smelly smelly taxi then up five flights of stairs to a Superior Hotel Room as the lift wasn't working......not sure what's superior about it there is no view at all other than of an office and it's all a bit basic. Oh well - lesson learned - don't let the Finance Director choose the hotel.

Last time I was here I stayed at a lovely hotel , part of the Swisshotel Group, it overlooked the lake, had an in room Gaggia coffee machine and beautiful rooms. It was also 600 Swiss Francs a night - think this is nearer 250.

It's only for one night and it's comfortable enough. I have to go for supper with the aforementioned FD. I am not really looking forward to it as I find him very hard work. Ah well, it's only a few hours. He will want to get away early as he usually does so I will have some time to myself.

Geneva, btw, is beautiful, the lake and mountains are breathtaking and the architecture amazing. However, it is so very very expensive. Good job it's a work trip so can be billed back.

Right, time to put some slap on to go out for supper.

A nice cup of tea

2010-06-04T14:30:00.002+01:00

I love a good cup of tea, I'm personally an English Breakfast girl myself and having been brought up by a committed Tea Drinker (thanks Mum) have from a very early age appreciated a good tea. So I was delighted when we went for afternoon tea (by we I mean Mum, me and Big Bro) to Canteen in Canary Wharf and had a lovely pot of English Breakfast - so lovely in fact that I asked the nice lady there what it was - 'Tea Pigs' she said, 'oooh where can I buy them?' said I.

'Nowhere' she said. And with that my tea high diminished a little. 'But you should try on line', she said. And I perked up again.

So I tootled off to Google and lo I found www.teapigs.co.uk - I was a tad excited by this and had fun rummaging around the site and dove straight in with a BIG purchase:

I ordered the Office Bundle:

In the bundle there are:

100 x english breakfast tea (or two big bags)
50 x peppermint
50 x darjeeling earl grey
15 x mao feng green tea
15 x superfruit

I also bought some Green Tea with Mint for the Boy.

The package came in a great box with the slogan Real Tea stamped over it and with a couple of samples of the Chamomile (yum yum - floral but not overly perfumey) and a card to pass to a friend telling them that their tea is rubbish and giving them a discount to join the real tea movement. Also a discount on the Matcha Super Power Green Tea

Tea Pigs come in little silk biodegradable tea temples that allow the tea leaves to expand fully

Each pack has an individual design for the tea inside:

They are very passionate about using Whole Leaf Tea - this is what their website says:

Whole Leaf Tea

At teapigs we make a big thing about using real tea. By real tea, we mean whole leaf tea, whole leaf herbs and whole flowers. For us it’s a question of flavour.

What you get in a regular tea bag is smaller particles of the same product. In making it smaller the leaf has been handled, crushed and chopped.

Just as if you pick a wild flower and put it straight into water it stays fresh and the scent is released, if you pick a wild flower and break it down into tiny pieces nearly all the scent is lost – tea is just the same.

And they all make a bloomin lovely cuppa, I leave my english breakfast bag in for about 4 mins and it's never bitter just smooth perfect lovely tea. The earl grey is delicate - not lady grey delicate but now too powerful either, refreshing and clean. The peppermint is divine - the leaves puff up completely and you're left with a tea than can only be improved by adding lashings of sugar and having in Morrocan style:

The Green tea is good, I find it a bit nobel to be honest but I know that it's good for me so have stuck with it. The Superfruits is far too much like a desert for me, but KBW's daughter loved it and a colleague at work who likes fruit tea said it was perfect. All in all a positive result.

Even the Mum the Tea Master and KBW who would run her a very very close second agree.

TeaPigs Office Bundle is £39.90 with free P&P - that's 17p per cup of tea. Or if you're like me and tend to stick to one type the English Breakfast tea is 19p per cup for 50 bags (P&P is only free once you've spent over £25).

Shopping Spree

2010-06-04T13:32:00.000+01:00

In my last post I mentioned I had bought some swimwear, well I also bought some underwear and it all arrived (bar the cherry swim suit) today - huzzah:

The underwear came in black satin pouches with red bows

and the swimwear in calico with blue bows

Swimwear first:

Okay okay I wish I had the know how to rotate them all but hey........ so on to the underwear:

All pretty but much prettier in real life than in my limited skills photos!

Countdown is progressing

2010-05-31T09:42:00.003+01:00

In four weeks time I will be at my folks house in France for two weeks of laziness. We are driving down this time so no need to worry about bloomin Ryan Air's weight limits or the extra charges to take a suitcase on Easy Jet. Just need to pack up the car and head on down.

This morning I was up early despite it being a bank holiday and logged on to Twitter only to see a new blog post by the ever stylish Mademoiselle Robot linking to a fabulous site for vintage inspired swim wear, For Luna

So I popped off there to have a little look and ended up seriously stretching my flexible friend (using that terms ages me right?) and purchasing a few things. I'll photograph and post when they arrive but I am very excited about having swimwear that a) fits, b) is stylish & c) meets my desire for a 1940s/50s look. Huzzah. Here's a taster for now:

Still at home as it's bank holiday, will head back down south this evening for work tomorrow (and the gym first thing indeed).

Today thought going to crack on with a few chores, tidy up the clothes and bags on the bed in the spare room, conquer the ironing mountain and finish potting up the baskets and pots in the garden.

Have some shopping to share with you later in the week (including two wildly different but both perfect for their intended use bags) and a lovely Shoe Tag from Fab In Your Forties to catch up with - so I should be back quite a bit.

TTFN xx

A Few New Shoes

2010-05-24T15:01:00.000+01:00

I am working at home today, and popped into town at lunchtime to pay a cheque into the bank and passed by The Shoe Room, in Pontefract and thought I would pop in. A little browse turned into three pairs of shoes:

So pair number one, £49 - a little kitsch but perfect for me:

But then I saw these (you may see a theme) - originally £57 but she knocked them down to £42 as there was a jewel fallen off one of them:

And then I was just about to leave and then I saw these......they were the most expensive at £70 but are just perfect:

Not sure what happened to that last pic - but lovely aren't they.

I think they will see me through the summer, as they all work with work dresses, jeans and maxi dresses. Then also make me taller and stand straight so look slimmer - perfect.

Sunshine, Blue Sky

2010-05-24T08:46:00.000+01:00

'Sunshine, blue sky' he shouts at 5.30am. But she doesn't mind. It's Monday morning and the first time for a while that she has been at home on a Monday when it's a work day. And the Sun is shining and the sky is blue.

The Boy is going out for an early morning run, but he leave the curtains slightly ajar as he knows she likes to see the sky as she starfishes in the bed.

20 minutes of snoozing, then she'll get up and face the day. 20 minutes of mental prep, planning that email, the packing, the cooking she needs to do. There's a very slight breeze and it's too early for the sound of traffic so it's almost like being on holiday. Like the lovely early mornings in Crete before the day starts, she can tell how warm the day will be, how she can breathe the air and smell the sea.

She can hear him coming back now, time to get up and make the coffee. One more deep, new day, clean breath and she's be ready to face the day. Ready to live her pretty blessed life.

Nice and Easy Cous Cous Salad

2010-05-23T11:10:00.000+01:00

When the weather gets nice and the BBQ comes out I always return to my failsafe, easy Cous Cous Salad.

It's easy peasy to make and gets better after some time in the fridge. You will need:

300g Cous Cous

Punett of Cherry Toms

bunch of Spring Onion

A generous handful of corridander and the same again of mint

A lemon

Good quality extra virgin olive oil

Garlic (4 of the individual bit the name of which escapes me right now)

Salt & Pepper

Right - put the cous cous in to a bowl with three tablespoons of the olive oil and cover with the required amount of water and set aside to cook.

Chop the tomatoes, spring onions and herbs up and set aside (I halve the toms, slice the onions and finely chop the herbs).

Finely chop the garlic.

When the cous cous is ready add the juice from the lemon and another good glug of olive oil. Fork through then add all the other bits, stir up, salt & pepper and there you go - easy peasy cous cous salad.

If you like pop it in the fridge now and it will just get better. Om nom nom nom. It keeps for 3-5 days in the fridge so is perfect for quick lunches during the week. We like to have it with home made chicken kebabs (where the chicken is marinaded in oil, lime juice and honey with chilli flakes and garlic then skewered with mushrooms, onions and peppers)

Enjoy xx

Happy Anniversary Baby

2010-05-19T17:30:00.001+01:00

9 years married - where did it go.

I am not home today as I am in Geneva on business but I wanted to note the day and declare my silly love for the boy.

Roll on the weekend.

The morning after the morning after the night before (2)

2010-05-17T07:53:00.002+01:00

On Saturday night I took part in the Playtex Moonwalk in London. 17,000 people walking 26.2 miles (or 13.1 for the half mooners) through the night. I ended up loising everyone I knew and walking alone which was tough but worked out fine. At mile 2 I popped on my iPod with my brothers
wedding mix and pretty much danced through the next 17 miles.

I love London at night, it's so beautiful all lit up and sparkly. Walking past The House of Commons then down the embankment was a but slow due to the crowds of walkers but brilliant. More importantly my lipstick was still in place at 2am:

The organisers and volunteers did an amazing job and even the weather was on side. Not too cold and the sun came up to a clear blue sky which made me glad I packed my sunglasses.

I took off my headphones just after the V&A and had a chat with two lovely other walkers for a few miles which was probably my undoing. I ended up walking at someone else paces rather than dancing to the pace of the music as I had been doing. As a result I hit a wall just after
mile 20 that I didn't recover from.

So I slowed my pace significantly and, as we were on the way back and in an area of London I know well (Millbank) I knew I could keep going. By this time my hip, knees and back hurt and I cursed not doing more training or losing more weight but I popped my earphones back in switched to my gym iPod and carried on carrying on.

Slowly but surely I clicked off miles 22, 23 & 24 and as I passed sun drenched Buckungham Palace I knew I was going to make it. Miles 25 & 26 were painful and slow. Having spent the first 19 miles eating up pavement I was now being passed by everyone. As I walked up the final 0.2 mile stretch to the finish line. I started to cry. Relief, pain, pride I don't know but the emotion got to me.

I am here now Monday morning after a full nights sleep and whilst I am sore, I am in one piece, no blisters, no bruises just very very sore and quite proud of myself. So far if everyone who's pledged pay up I have raised nearly £800 which is fab.

It's not too late to sponsor me if you'd like to; just click the link at the top left of this page or put www.walkthwalkfundraising.org/pontecarloblue

Thanks for all your support, ask me in a few days if I'm doing it again next year.

It's not got that '97 feel.

2010-05-12T07:23:00.001+01:00

I know that today is an historic day and that the political landscape
in the UK has changed perhaps for ever but it doesn't feel like '97.

In '97 it felt like a new dawn, a new optimism, the scale of the
victory felt like the country had woken up from a fitful long sleep.

Blair (& his babes) had us all hopeful of the way things could be. But
then. But then.

So, in real terms we trust MPs less than we did in '97; we were wooed
by Nick but having been burnt by Tony went back to the old two parties.

Will the coalition last? Will the compromises made mean the worst
bits of both manifestos or the best.

It's a new dawn, a new day, but the hope & optimism is missing.

We'll see. We'll see.

Lists, lists, lists

2010-05-11T07:32:00.001+01:00

I'm a list maker. At work, at home it's all about the lists. Currently
I have the following lists weighing me down:

Work list 1 - things that are in the intray and people are waiting for

Work list 2 - projects and good to do activities

Home list 1- things to do around the house (it has now been over 8
months that those frames have been waiting to be out up)

Home list 2 - chores for the next few weeks

Me list - my measurements

Me list 2 - my aims and targets

Me list 3 - where I want to be (very similar to list 2 but more detail)

Scout hut list - things to do at the scout hut

I also have lists if expenses, sewing projects, knitting projects,
people to phone/write to, blog to write.

Seriously, how much more could I get done if I stopped writing the
lists. A useful tool or another way to procrastinate?