Ah the joys of working in HR.
Yep that means that I am the one who is usually there telling you that you're not performing, supporting the line manager. Having the conversation that the pay rise we have offered you is appropriate for the job and that if you want to work part time the salary will be part time and that you don't always get everything you want.
That you have BO.
That your time keeping sucks.
That we need to know when you will be here as we are covering for you when you are not and yes I understand your Child is ill - I'm not saying you have to be here just let us know, keep us informed.
That whilst yes we are a charity we are not a freaking charity - we are not an awful employer we have a good environment, pay sick leave, holiday, good maternity/paternity/adoption leave. Don't expect you to work to the bone. Wait you need to work from home - yeah no problem we'll make that work. Oh you need to come in late and take a shorter lunch and leave around the same time as everyone else. yep thats fine too - we trust you.
The problem is - we are a really small team and a small office and when you act like a self entitled fuck wit and I have to have a 'chat' with you it creates an atmosphere.
I am not a monster, but yes I can be the deliverer of bad, sad, difficult news.
But accuse me of annihilation - oh seriously you have seen nothing that was me on a good day, being productive and supportive and working with you to reach a solution. Want to see what I'm like if I don't have the professional shackles? Want to hear what I really think of the way you are acting?
Trust me you don't.
You get 24 hours to sulk but if you continue with this next week then guess what we'll be having another 'chat' where I ask you if there is a problem and what it is.
For now I will smile at you, include you, ask your opinion and engage with you. Act like a spoiled brat if you like - it really isn't going to help.
Seriously, I've been called a bitch, a formidable dragon, a sanctimonious cow; had the death march whistled when I've walked down a corridor; been blanked, shunned, ignored, left out; called the party police and been told that I am not nice.
Your behavior just re-enforces my view of you. I won't let this bother me when I get home tonight, I know we've been fair to you and actually tried to make things work for you.
Shame you can't be the same with me.
Rant over - phew.