Making Space

I'm a terrible hoarder - I have so much stuff.  I don't need it all and it's sometimes suffocating.  So it's time to make some space - not for new stuff but for me to breath.

I moved in here just over a year ago and thats was when I got my storage locker, I have a house full to bursting with stuff I don't use or touch and a locker doing the same.  Its a waste of space and time and makes me feel tense.

I'm not talking about the fabric and baskets I have for my sewing and crafting things - no its more about pieces of paper, things I might need 'one day' - no idea when this one day might be.  I mean if I haven't needed it for a year will I really need it in the next?

So it's time to make space.  I'm starting by moving my king size spare bed into storage (not the mattress that's going to the tip - rubbish back aching temporary cheap at the time buy!) and being replaced by a day bed and trundle.  It will get back a lot of floor space but also won't have this big flat surface to dump stuff on - something I'm particularly adept at.

I'm also going to empty the magic basket of toiletries and makeup - i use limited products and usually the same few the rest as just sat there gathering dust.  I don't need them, use them or if I'm honest want them.  Time to get out the black sacks and make space.

I think what has brought this on has been my working at home the last few weeks on and off.  I have a good work space - an old pine kitchen table that I share with my sewing machine, overlocker and a few bits.  Plenty of room to spread out and work but the rest of the room is surrounded by stuff.

I need to make a deal with myself - not to replace the stuff with more stuff - to remember the feeling now when I am full to bursting and the need for room to think and breath.

Making space not just physically but mentally by letting stuff go.

Breath.

Hello Autumn my old friend.

There are those clinging on to summer this morning. Floaty skirts and open toes; refusing to accept its over. 

And then there's me  40 denier & knits happy to welcome autumn with a smile and a knowing nod - ah yes hello my time. 

Hello knits and boots and warm textures and forgiving hip skimming dresses. 

Hello bright cool sunshine, warm refreshing rain. Hello my time. 

A hot mess

I'm so tired. Having spent about 15 months in a role with minimal pressure and low morale I've moved to a role where I am taxed, busy and a bit frightened. My boss says she tinkers on the edge of irritability at all times and that works for her - right now I'm on the edge of fear. 

Fear of being good enough, fear of meeting expectations, fear of hitting/missing deadlines, fear of being discovered as a fraud. 

It's brilliant to be busy and to be in a role that's challenging me daily but boy I'm exhausted by it.  Both mentally and physically.   It's turned me. But upside down. 

I'm also having a bit of a wardrobe nightmare - weight has crept up again, nothing fits, everything I put on just looks a bit of a mess. The outside is reflecting the inside. 

So I'll get through today. Get some good 'stuff' done then need to use this weekend to get organised. 

Boy!  To make myself feel better here I am last weekend not looking awful at the wedding of some lovely friends:

Going to try and channel her and ignore the messy hair, too much cleavage, slightly too tight hot mess I am today!

Becoming no one (aka Real Men Don't Look Back)

Its time for me to move contracts again so I am working out my last few days in my current role, preparing my handover and ensuring that my files, projects and records are up to date.

The interesting thing is the shift in my colleagues behaviour and attitude towards me; each day I am moving to the outer edge of the inner circle and becoming less of a someone and much more of a no one.

I get it, working a notice period is hard on everyone.  You are not going to be here to deliver the longer term plans or work through the challenges that people perceive - you have jumped ship, taken the kings gold.  Whether you are leaving with a tear in your eye or if you are blowing it up and not looking back (real men don't look back at explosions remember) you were in post for a reason, and I assume did good work whilst you were there but a long notice and particularly those last few days can make for awkward times.

So the days are going slowly; the emails and calls are less frequent; the meetings not always relevant and the in tray looking mightily slim.

So what to do?  Well the best darn handover in the world obviously but otherwise its a case of smile, help where you can, give good counsel and support to your colleagues and leave the place in a way you would want to find it.

Moving on to becoming no one is a challenge but its nothing personal I guess just the way of the world. 

Whilst there will be no explosion I can walk away without looking back, onwards to the next adventure.

Movie night at Bea's of Bloomsbury

I'm having a bit of a love affair with London this week. My brothers are in the US so they offered me their flat for the time they're away. It's perfect timing, its just worked out that I had the option to be out & about every night having a (say it quickly) social life!

This is the view from the balcony in the boys bedroom - no doubting where you are!

London has been hot hot hot this week so when LBB and I were deciding what to do last night Bea's of Bloomsbury's block party style cinema club seemed like a perfect idea. 

Bea's is an awesome cafe with a few shops in London (including a brand new one in Farringdon that I'm planning to try this morning) and a railway arch in Maltby Street SE1 - their fresh food and cakes everyday are fantastic look at their website for more details (www.beasofbloomsbury.com).

We were running a little late so jumped in a cab - when we asked him to drop us off at these railway arches in what looks like an industrial area he thought we were mad, but go in through the metal door and inside it's all set up with a massive screen and a load of assorted deck chairs. 

The screen really is massive but we still grabbed a seat at the front to stretch out 

Not unsurprisingly the food was fabulous and we went for a chilli cheese dog each and paired this with a bottle of prosecco!

There was also mac'n'cheese, popcorn, some delicious looking cakes, beer wine and soft drinks. 

The atmosphere was relaxed and friendly, we watched Forrest Gump and the small group laughed, sighed and cried through a few gentle hours. 

It was a great evening, we walked back in the warm evening to London Bridge which was still buzzing.    I love that London offers so many choices and that awesome companies and places like Bea's exist. 

They have movie night running through the rest of July and August each Tuesday with more classic films including Some Like it Hot, Home Alone and Jaws. Tickets are £5. 

It's another beautiful London morning, I need to get up and walk to work before it gets too hot!  Another adventure in town tonight. Lucky lucky me. 

July so far

The sun is shining, it's a beautiful day. 

Murray has just won the Wimbledon final and I've had a lovely few days just mooching with Goose. 

We went to Truck Stop in Canary Wharf on Friday after a long day in London. 

We found shade in St James Park

And had ice cream on the south bank

Pub lunch with S&J

A quick stop in the office and a trip on a bus and a train

It finished with a damaged yoghurt in the shopping delivery which G loved 

But he's pooped in this heat. 

And no pics as left phone in car but lovely walk in Swinley Forrest with Loo &Kerrie  (& biscuit & Alana). 

And relax. 

Playlist

My soppy, sleepy, thinking of you playlist http://open.spotify.com/user/millymolly1972/playlist/30aG9bFi9ngXBIXPo6hKJa