Saturday, 18 December 2010

Decisions (or lack of)

I left my little cottage at 6.30 this morning to drive north to get a car full of my things.  As I got  closer I started to feel sick and tense.  I knew The Boy wouldn't be here but it feels like invading - like he should be here to supervise what I chose to take and leave.

I have been wandering from room to room, looking at things and thinking about what to take (or not).  Some things were straightforward (coats, handbags etc) but others have left me in turmoil and crying like a baby.  I have some lovely towels from Liberty but they are hanging in the bathroom - it seems wrong to take things an leave an empty space.  Pathetic really.

Everytime I look at or pick something up I find myself over thinking - it feel all wrong taking things from his home (I know it's our house), leaving gaps where my life was.  I really need to get myself together and be more pragmatic.

Now however, I am waiting for the plumber.  He was due at 10.......the car is packed I can't face any more I just want to run back south where I can pretend its not happening.

1 comment:

  1. Bloody hell, I have struggled to keep up with blog reading since my mum took ill back in September and I can't believe this has happened. I am so sorry, but your happiness is paramount in all this. x

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