Friday, 17 December 2010

Dividing a Life

I'm heading North tomorrow to pack some things.  I have no idea where to start.  Clothes, shoes make sense but what about DVDs, books, the PS3, the coffee machine, my knives, a casserole dish.  We've been together so long its not about who brought what into the relationship - it's not as easy as that's yours thats mine; most of it is 'ours'.

Some of it is simple - The Boy would never want my Gilmore Girls or West Wing DVDs, my grandmothers dinner service but what about the wedding gifts?  Who takes the glasses - do we split them?  Who takes the cutlery?  The whole things has my head in a spin and feels too soon, too raw.  I want some of my things of course I do but I don't want to leave the boy with a shell of a house or with empty spaces.

The other side is my cottage is tiny - where would I put anything??

M&D arrive in a few hours, they're bringing boxes - all very organised.  I just want to go to my bed and hide until the new year.  I know that standing still just prolongs the pain but the pace is scaring me......leaving no room for doubt, reflection, consideration.

But what room do I need or want, I'm done I know I am and as much as that hurts it's where I am.

Frack.

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