Is it me?

I didn't get the job - turns out that the Director invited two other people back for second interview with the Head of HR as she thinks they will get on better with her than I would. I am disappointed as this was not what I thought was going on - previous feedback had indicated that it was between me and one other.

I think the thing that is getting to me most is that this is the third time I have been told that I am technically competent but that I am not personally the right fit - it's really difficult not to take that personally. It's not about not having enough experience, or the wrong sort of experience; it's about having the wrong personality - well that's who I am so it is personal.

I have no idea what I am doing wrong; in 45 minutes individuals are deciding that I am the wrong 'cultural fit' or that someone wouldn't get on with me - what is it that I am doing in those 45 minutes that puts people off?

I am low, and know that I will start 2nd guessing myself. I have applied for three more jobs already this week so hopefully something will come from that - fingers crossed.

Going to try and keep positive - but right now it's tough.

Have been looking at flights to see M&D - under £60 return from Next Tuesday to Saturday, tempting; very very tempting!

Start the week right

Strong, hot and black (just like my men - ha ha ha love Airplane more quotes here) the right way to start the week.

Who stole the sun?

So it's 28th June, slap bang in the middle of summer and it looks more like February! The weather means that the garden is growing and that I may have to move Princess so that she doesn't get tangled in with the climbers but where is the sun?

I was organised, put the washing on overnight so that it would be ready to hang out when I got up. Watched the weather report - sun shine was predicted. So where the bloomin' 'ell is it?

The Boy has called, he is feeling a little worse for wear and they are off to find a good breakfast in Scarborough - unfortunately it looks like Mojo, where I had this, wasn't open then they went past:

But we are off to Scarborough again next weekend so I'll drag him there then. It was recommended to me by lovely chap on twitter and beats the soulless coffee chain in the town centre.

So reflecting on my week what have I done? Well I went to the gym 2x (though that was last Sunday and Wednesday so not great but I did improve my 5k time by over a minute), I applied for 4 jobs, was interviewed for 1, received feedback from an earlier interview that I was not the right 'cultural fit' (which is code for we didn't like you). I tidied up the garden a bit more, cleaned the house and watched some great tennis and found my passport (well the lovely people at Transport for London did and tracked me down). I provided The Boy with a taxi and got some major Daughter in Law/Wife points by going to see my MIL and sorting out her new netbook. I read two books, four newspapers, wrote my blog and watched 1.5 chick flicks (remembered half way through that I had seen Made of Honour before).

I didn't sort out my office, send off that invoice, weigh myself (skipping this week after too much wine), make scones (there was a plan), do my 'banish the bingo wings' exercises, sort out the shoes under the bed, chase the drain people to follow up when they are coming to sort out their mess, meet my personal goal of 4 gym visits and many many more things I can't recall right now.

So next weeks list has actually already been part written. I'm off to see Take That with the lovely Zee and KBW and hope to hit either The East Room or Milk & Honey after the gig if we have time. Also planning next day brunch already - thinking maybe The Diner - I know it won't be as good as The Grey Dog West Village NYC which is my all time favourite (& The Boys) but at least we can pretend.

Hoping to hear back about the job (it's will have been 2 weeks on Monday) that I want and to get a 2nd interview for the one I interviewed for on Friday - fingers crossed. If I hear nothing by Thursday I will go back to the agencies and look at lower (much lower) paid jobs as it will be better to be working than not working and a month off is really enough for me.

Still looking at the business opportunity in Scarborough - need to really get it all on paper and follow up with the current owner. So another reasonably busy week with a high spot in the middle.

Onwards.

It's not procrastination - I'm just lazy that's all

There, I've said it. I am a sit in my arse watch the world go by then
complain about it gal. Well today and this past week I am at least. I
finally got round to painting my toe nails but here I am 2.20pm and I
still haven't been to the shops, have only done two of the things in
my list since Thursday. Seriously if it wasn't for the lovely people
of Ocado the cupboards would be bare (though the shopping delivered at
10am is still waiting to be put away).

So I am now waiting for my nails to dry then will go to M&S for magic
tea then back to my trusty sofa for more wasting away.

Get a bleedin grip woman!

Sent from my iPhone

Sleeping like Starfish

I slept so well, starfished shape; no fighting for the duvet and no huffing. Aaaaahhhh it was lovely.

So telephone interview for a local job at 9am - the interview went ok but I may have talked myself out of the job a little as I told him that I felt he may need a bigger hitter than me in the long run. I gave good interview otherwise - I know I could do the job even though much of it would be a challenge. It would be very Union focused and that is pretty much about playing poker and using common sense. So I should find out if I have been shortlisted later today - we'll see.

Had a call from another agent just keeping in touch - not much doing there at the moment but he's following a few things up.

Still haven't heard a definitive answer about the role I interviewed for two weeks ago - last I heard was that she wanted her preferred candidate to meet her number 2 but that was first thing Wednesday and I have heard nothing since so am assuming (dangerous I know) that they are meeting with the other person and will only meet with me if that doesn't work out. It's just so freaking frustrating - if it's a no just tell me.

I have been out of work for a month now - I am frustrated beyond belief and more practically my bank balance can only manage two more months out of work (at a stretch). So Monday will be invoice and any outstanding expenses day - rock and roll baby!

The Boy is back from Glasgow tonight and I am picking him up from the airport at 7.30ish then he is off to the coast for the weekend early Saturday morning and walking from Whitby to Scarborough Saturday he'll be back Sunday sometime. Unfortunately KBW, CP and Lady P have other plans this weekend (Happy Birthday Lady P) so I am home alone. If I was working normally I would be looking forward to it - planning my food and my bath, getting in the girly DVDs but this time I think I may be counting the hours.....poor me (snap out of it woman ffs).

Gah - I am pathetic, time to suck it up and sort it out.

While the Cats away

I dropped The Boy at the airport at some ungodly hour this morning to catch a flight to Glasgow for a few days. Then I went over to Scarborough to have a look at the MILs new netbook (she's 79, didn't even know how to turn it on....I managed to bite my tongue).

So I am back home (Via the Outlet in York where I picked up a nice new hat for £5) and The Boy is away and I am very very tired. Considering slipping into my PJs and parking myself in front of the tennis for a few hours.

The Boy rarely goes away and usually I relish the opportunity of having the house to myself - but as I have been at home for nearly a month now out of work it's not such a treat. It's bad enough having no one to talk to during the day and I have been cleaning the team vaughan way so not much there to do.

Ah well, a bottle of wine, a bar a dairy milk and tennis - it's not all bad.

Things are blooming

One good thing about being at home this month has meant that I have seen my work planting earlier this year come to fruition. The vegetable & salad plants are all coming along nicely but my pots and baskets are beautiful.

These have still got loads of flowers to come as have theses:

and then there is this one - it was at the front of the house for a while but I have moved it to the back as we rarely use the front door. There is a basket of geraniums at the front now which have yet to flower but hopefully will benefit from the sun spot that it is there. Anyway this is the one I moved to the back door:

My Cherry tree is looking good too - just hope that I get to them as the ripen before the birds do!

Felling less stompy today and more positive - something will go my way soon I just know it.

Stomp Stomp Stomp

Still no news on the jobs that I have interviewed for - getting frustrated with it all now. Grrrrrrrrr. Don't want to seem desperate but to be honest I am getting a bit - I have seen my bank balance and whilst it's not desperate I am not sure I could take another month of being out of work.

Went all the way to Sandbach today (184 mile round trip) to meet a very nice lady only to be told that they have no jobs........

I have a telephone interview for a role on Friday but really want the job that I interviewed for last Monday. Why hasn't she made a decision - have they changed their mind and withdrawn the role (not the first time that would have happened to me)? I keep telling myself that I haven't got it but there is a small part of me that is holding out hope.

Oh well if nothing comes up this week I will have to sign on (aggggghhhhh) and go to the temp agencies for work, yes that's right I'll be back where I was 12 years ago - typing at the probation service for a little over minimum wage. Ah gawd please someone employ me.

We're going on a job hunt

Well it feels like a bear hunt the luck I am having at the moment. So
today I am off to Manchester to meet with two agencies in the hope
that they will be able to place me.

Still haven't heard about the interview last Monday, or come to think
of it the one the Thursday before that - now that's just rude!

So today I need to replace procrastinator me with acheiver me need to
finish an application this morning then to the gym, then drive over to
civilisation for the first meeting then to the second. The a stop off
at The Trafford Centre on the way back to immerse myself in the joy
that is John Lewis, Selfridges & Carluccios before coming back to
oblivion (you townies will think it strange but John Lewis is my idea of meditation).

Today is going to be a good day, I shall wear my new shoes to put a
literal sping in my step.

Onwards.

EDIT - gah just had a call my first meeting in Manchester has been cancelled so - change of plan may have to hit the shops before the second meeting, ah well - coffee then gym.

My new toy

So I have a new beautiful White 32g iPhone. She's lovely and I am
testing the email blogging on her now!

Sent from my iPhone

Daddy's Girl

There I've said it, I am most definitely Daddy's Girl. I finally managed to speak to RTT (above with Lady L at their new home in May this year) about 5pm yesterday to day Happy Fathers Day - he's in Spain at the moment escaping the renovations on their house in France. Sounds like they are having a great time as they went to Pamploma for the day (two weeks too early to run with the bulls) and were just getting ready for an aperitif! Retirement is treating them well.

Growing up with RTT was never dull, he was always on the go; organising exchanges with French football teams, refereeing Sunday league, coaching tennis, playing Santa Claus for the local Lions club, organising street parties and 'it's a knockout' style competition.

He has always been Taxi RTT - even up until very recently when I needed to be collected from York after missing a train after a long (ie drunken) day at the races.

I remember always wanting to be with RTT - on holiday we would rent a scooter and head off into the Spanish hills for the day leaving Lady L (mum) and my brother to read books. Recently we went to Amsterdam for 48 hours. I took him to see The Rolling Stones for his 60th birthday he bought me diamonds on my wedding day. But more than that - he made me believe I could be anything I wanted to be in the knowledge that I would always have his support and love.

I know I am lucky that my dad is still here - and I treasure every moment. I am, and always will be, Daddy's Girl.

Gym-Phobic

So I was due to go to a spinning class at 10am this morning but conveniently didn't get up in time. I had an internal dialogue that went along the lines of:

I'll get up in 5 mins and that will give me enough time to wake up properly and stretch before going to the gym. Wish I could just go to the gym and not go to spinning - I don't like spinning I am too fat and it hurts my bum. Well maybe if I just go to the gym then I can start spinning when I have lost some more weight so it doesn't hurt my bum so much and isn't so hard on my knees. Well if I am just going to go to the gym I may as well have another 20 mins in bed and go later and then have a latte and read the papers with The Boy and go at lunch time.

So here I am - not yet at the gym, not been to spinning and a bit miffed with myself for talking myself out of it. Off to the gym around 12ish when all the milk from the latte stops swilling about inside.

To top it off have been gardening with The Boy (front hedge and lawn trimmed, back lawn in progress) and am now sneezing like a goodun!

Ah well the joys of English summer.

Reading Blogs can be bad for your pocket....

Whoops so I was reading LibertyLondonGirl's blog and saw this beautiful coat by Isabella Oliver 365

Which I ended up pre-ordering and then (whoops) ordered this as well

Now I really need to get a job - money doesn't get charged until Mid August so I have a bit of time.

You know earlier where I referred to previous excess......well not so previous. Will post pictures of Friday's purchases early next week!

Ah well, time for another glass of Ned before bed. If you like your summer wines with a bit of fruit but dry then this is lovely. It has a peachy tinge to it and is bursting with flavour - unfortunately I am not on commission.

Sorting through my excess

So I can avoid it no longer - I have to sort through my clothes

mountain on the spare bed; my shoe jumble under the bed and my handbag
grain store.....it's a picture of my past excesses. I tried to take
some photo's to post but can't get a true picture of the mess. However this isn't far off:

It's come to a head for a few reasons. Firstly, if I get this job I
will be away during the week again for the next 6 months and that
means getting more organised with my wardrobe and accessories and as I
loose weight I want to be able to wear the clothes that I am beginning
to fit back into. The second reason is the row that I had with The
Boy last night over my slattern tendencies it went along the lines of
'for christ's sake Wife when are you going to clean up this f'ing mess
- you've been sat on your arse all day for a week now and you can't
even put your clothes away' to which I replied 'how dare you - you
were at home for five f'ing months and what exactly did you do with
you time? What did you achieve in that time?' closely followed by '
when you learn to cook and iron then you have the right to say
something to me about the mess but until then you can just f off'.
See a nice grown up sensible discussion!

Anyway the shame is too much so I will have to get on with it. The
petulant part of me doesn't want to do it today - as then The Boy will
think he has won and that it is a direct result of his comments
yesterday. But I should do it now whilst I have the inclination
otherwise I'll be sat here again in the middle of next week bemoaning
my procrastination. It's tough being a lazy slut!

It's Not a No.....

Update from the Interview on Monday. Well I assumed that as I had
heard nothing it was a negative response - well guess what I was
wrong! It's not a no - that's a bit like 'I don't not like it' but
that's a whole other story - but it's not a yes either.

So it's between me and one other candidate. Apparently I would
nurture and get along with the team; they would like me and work with
me and know that I would be their Champion. The other candidate would
be more removed from the team - they may not like here but would
eventually get the work done the right way. So the recruiting
Director has a decision to make me - the fluffy one or her - the (I
don't want to call her anything nasty I don't know her so this is just
what I have been told) more stern one.

The funny thing is I have never been called fluffy or that I might be
too nice - usually I am too tough or to straightforward. This is the
second time in as many weeks that I have had feedback that I am
potentially not hard enough for the role - me....... Pah! When I told
The Boy this he laughed - we met through work and work in the same
field - when people compare us he is always the nice, fluffy one and I
am the 'hard faced' one. Obviously these years of contracting have
mellowed me!

So unlikely to hear before the weekend but feel less negative now -
there's a 50/50 chance that I will be back in employment soon! Huzzah.

I miss my Girlfriends

It's simple really I miss my friends. I can't watch the Sex in The
City (SOTC) film in one go as it makes me miss them more. I miss the
closeness and reliability of Sisters; the honesty and unquestioning
support. We have known each other since school and been close for a
long time; seen each other through first times, first loves, break
ups, make ups, never should have been there, childbirth, miscarriage,
mistakes, happy mistakes, wedding, funerals, good and bad times.

We don't all live in the same City anymore. Lady P is in Devon by the
sea with her beautiful little girls being a lovely Mother and Wife;
KBW moved out of London to the country in Oxfordshire and is slowly
going mad; Only CP is in London still living the fabulous life of a 30
something city girl - financially independent, knows where all the
best parties are but really just wants to meet 'the one' and be like
Lady P (though in London near the hub). Then there's me, moved North
many years ago married to a lovely kind man (The Boy) who knows I miss
my friends but doesn't quiet get it.

Like many other girls I am sure we have compared ourselves to the
girls of SOTC interestingly we usually agree where we sit so here goes:

Lady P is Charlotte - a little prim, easily shocked with a heart of gold

KBW is Samantha - gorgeous, sassy but missing being at Home

CP is Carrie - cooky, fun, creative but actually just wants to be loved

and that makes me Miranda - stuck in Brooklyn with a man I love in a
relationship that's not always perfect but definitely worth fighting
for.

We compliment each other and sometimes we clash but mostly we fit. I
know that they are only at the end of a the phone but it's not the
same. Had a lovely chat with KBW yesterday whilst watching Ascot -
reminded me of when we used to see each other all day and then go home
and speak to each other on the phone whilst watching Dynasty then Come
Dancing to talk about what everyone was wearing - my Dad really didn't
get it but Mum did; must be a girl thing.

I read Liberty London Girl's blog about receiving Letters
and know that I too am lucky to have a box full of letters, cards
and postcards from my friends which I treasure - just sometimes I need
the real thing.

Oh this has become a bit of a feeling sorry for myself post - time to
snap out of it. Meeting The Boy for lunch today so spit spot this
morning - onwards.

TTFN

Patio Garden in Progress!

So here is most of it - still the tomatoes and runner beans to go in then off to Homebase or B&Q for some canes etc. All good!

A Pocket Rocket Gardener

Hurrah - my patio garden from www.rocketgardens.co.uk arrived
yesterday afternoon and I am going to spend my morning planting up.
The patio garden contains the following plants:

Tomatoes
Strawberries
Runner Beans
Dwarf French Beans
Courgettes
Rainbow Chard
Spinach
Peas
Mizuna/Rocket
MIxed Lettuce

I'm a little concerned that I don't have enough pots but I am silly
excited about the thoughts of growing my own food.

We didn't really grow our own food when we were growing up, by the
time I was 19 I have lived in 9 houses so I suppose we were never
settled anywhere enough to develop a plot. I remember strawberries
from the garden and popping over to the field behind the house to pick
blackberries. I also have a vague memory of my grandparents having
gooseberries when they lived in Aborfield. I remember pick you own
trips with my skinny minnie mum in the late 70s - with her amazing hair.

As well as getting this garden for myself I bought one for my brothers
and a Children's Garden for KBWs Cheeky Monkeys - apparently I now
also have to buy KBW a manicure (don't think she was too impressed by
my suggestion to 'just wear gloves'). So in the garden in the sun
(hopefully) all morning - trying to take my mind off the call I am
waiting for about the interview on Monday (fingers crossed). Then to
the gym then home to tackle the ironing mountain.

Today I am also reading this fashion gets sensible

and cooing over these

TTFN

Sofa surfing

So I have been out of work for two and a half weeks now. I have met and spoken with more than 10 recruiters and have had two interviews. I know that something will come up but I am starting to get a little worried.

Yesterday was a bad day; I was feeling really sorry for myself and as a result spent the day on the sofa surfing the internet and watching rubbish TV. So I am up to date with Twitter, have an all time high score on Bejewelled Blitz and have found a pair of shoes I really want to buy.

However, until I have work any retail therapy will have to wait. Then to top it all I didn't get paid - thankfully I have savings to see me through for a bit but not getting paid is a bit of a blow. Have sent chasing emails so will have to wait and see. Not the end of the world though as if they pay me next month I may not feel this break in work so much in my pocket.

So why am I not getting work - partly because there are so many good candidates out there and partly because I fall between the operational/strategic gap: not enough strategy - too senior for just operations. I just need someone to take a gamble on me.

So today is a new day - new start. Start of my new blog; back to the gym (10lbs down so far another 60lbs to go); going to get hair and makeup sorted and no more feeling sorry for myself.

Right - onwards.

TTFN